Wednesday 30 November 2016

Sa-hatis-fa-hack-chewun


'I was talkynge to Tygger just today and--'
'Pooh, what exactly is that voice?'
'Ah, Pyggelet, I'm getting into Ye Olde Zone.'
'What?'
'No, no, Pyggelet…whatte?'
'I'll stick with what, thank you. What's all this in aid of?'
'Itte isse in ayde of the Christmas Fayre.'
'Fayre? You mean fair?'
'No, Pyggelet, you must saye Fayre or you wul be bangede uppe.'
'What Fayre?'
'Thayre Fayre.'
'Whayre?'
'Outte thayre. Go onne…say, "Wel, aye declayre".'
'I shall do nothing of the sort. So they're all having fairs out there.'
'Fayres, Pyggelet!'
'I simply don't cayre…care…Pooh, are you getting round to saying that Tigger--'
'Tygger, Pyggelet!'
'--wants a fair or fayre in heere? Now you've got me at--'
'He alreddee has someone in mynde to openne itte.'
'I think I can guess…'
'Mister Anthony Blayre.'
'Oh. Not a Sonny-less Chayre?'
''Strewth, Piglet, yore dim an' no mistyke. Yew don' 'alf get up my chim-chim-cheree.'
'Who are you now? Hans Van Eyck?'
'Werl, see, yer Tigger, 'e's finkin' uv 'avin' a Victorian theme. Lots uv 'em aht there, thass wot they done.'
'I thought Mary Poppins was set in Edwardian--'
'Garn! All the same to them as'll be doin' the rahnds uv the coc-ee-nut shies un' avin' their fowerchunes read.'
'In that case, I'd say that all of those…them…those out there have wasted their time.'
'Howjafigurethatthen?'
'Well from what I've heard, they only have to stand still from now on and they'll be Victorian all over again.'
'Nah, lissen ter me, Piglit, yore talking like a wrong 'un--'
'They could just call their fairs Us Now. Go on, Pooh, cast aspersions on the cut of my jib…'
'I wunt giv yer the sa-hatis-fa-hack-chewun.'
 

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